Seward has had the worst weather ever recorded this century, caused in part by the shifting of Seattle's Wraith of God rains to the Resurrection Bay area. The reason for the shift, Seward City Manager Clark Corbridge.
"I am confident that it's all his fault," declared Seward Vice Mayor Willard Dunham at Tuesday night's city council meeting. "We never, ever, had bad weather like this until Clark was in charge of the City. I've been here a long time, and we have never, ever, had a 100-year flood that moved this much water. This is worse than '94, worse than '85, worse than '64."
"We need to fire the bastard," concluded Mayor Vanta Shafer. "Y'all notice this flooding didn't start until he was up for his employee review. He's jes pissy because we loaded the review forms so he would come out poorly. Clark did this on purpose. Y'all know it really pisses me off when he takes credit for all my hard work, and doesn't take credit for all the bad things that happen. That is an important part of his job, and he is not meeting the City Council's expectations there."
While studio audience member Hungry Harry wondered out loud if the Chamber of Commerce was to blame, during her report at the council meeting Chamber President Deb Carter strongly denied that her group was holding good weather hostage as a measure for getting more funding from the city council in next year's budget cycle.
"It simply isn't true that the Seward Chamber of Commerce has created all this nasty flooding as a means to excuse ourselves for not having better tourist traffic during this quarter," suggested Carter. "The Edgewater is doing its part by donating all the money we are saving by not having Paul have red hair anymore towards finding temporary shelter for displaced pets. Our liability insurance costs went way down after he quit being so foxy."
"I have strong reason to believe that this is all a conspiracy to stop me from flying," offered City Council member Steve Shafer. "I am sure that the City Manager, in concert with certain members of city administration, whipped up this sideways rain knowing that there would be significant economic impacts to myself and my family. They are just trying to wash me out before I clean their house. Well, we'll take care of that tonight and send him packing."
The National Weather Service advises that Seward's record rainfall is forecast to continue through the next week, at which time it should turn into freezing rain.
The City of Seward declared a state of emergency at 10:50 a.m. Monday, when Mayor Vanta Shafer, the highest ranking Democrat on Council, rang up President Bush to see if he would be willing to send in the Girl Scouts.
Mayor Shafer was forced to such desperate measures after Governor Frank Murkowski advised her that all the Alaska National Guard troops were overseas at war, and his personal jet couldn't land at the Seward Airport as it was covered in water.
Clark Corbridge was fired from being Seward's City Manager in a 5-2 vote in an emergency executive session held inside the ground floor men's room of City Hall twenty minutes after the City Council meeting was adjorned. Corbridge's wife Judy offered two thumbs up when she received the news late Tuesday evening.
The executive management team of D.E. Woods and Tim MacDonald have been hired to fulfill the responsibilities of interim city manager, as they were the only individuals in Seward willing to accept the position.
A hiring committee consisting of Mayor Vanta Shafer, Vice Mayor Willard Dunham, and Councilmember Robert Thomas are tasked interviewing all unemployed former Seward residents who have held a State government job in the last ten years.
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