At a public meeting held at their Marina Restaurant Offices this morning, the Interim City Manager team of locally known as MacDonald-Woods today announced that a flood conspiracy had been revealed - in the Seward Area Flood Board.
"We have had rain for eight months straight," advised D.E. Woods, "No problem, ground soaked it up and the rivers took it away. The voters toss out Flood King Jim MacDaddyCracken and installed a bunch of contractors. In just under a week all those contractors have millions of dollars of work. Co-wince-a-dense? I don't think so!"
"It is obvious that the contractors purposely cause the rising of the rivers, and the slides," concluded Tim MacDonald. "There is no other possible explaination for recent events. This is a hundred-year flood. We just had one a couple years ago. Really jumped the gun on this one, people. We aren't buying it. If you look at what Quality did by the Jap Creek Bridge you can see these contractor guys have really been messing in the rivers."
Also at the public meeting, Mayor Vanta Shafer announced that the City will be cutting back the work weeks of all employees to 36 hours. These cuts will be made retroactive to Labor Day, to coincide with the closing of tourist season.
"We do this at the hospital all the time," explained Mayor Shafer. "It really saves us a lot of money. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the City workers who have volunteered their time over the last month or so, hundreds of hours in all sectors of City government. A lot of folks have dontated over 40 hours just this week. This really demonstrates how when times get tough, Seward people really come together to support one another."
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