Earlier this summer I asked Sara Nan to take a headshot for my bookcover.
Midnight is a Dark Velvet Blue, so is Noon - coming out in December 2005, Publish America.
Yeah, like that wasn't total stupidity on my part. Understand that I had a deadline and it was Sara or my ten-year-old daughter taking the shot.
Sara has aspirations of being a Playboy photographer, I quickly discovered. She took some shots just before sunset, zipped over to the Grande Alaskan Lodge, borrowed the cook's laptop to convert them to CD, then buzzed the pix over to me.
That is the background, this is the weirdness.
Captain Mikey is shelping around the lodge and discovers that the cook has used one of my photos as his screen saver. Mikey finds this a bit disturbing on several levels. He doesn't believe that the cook has ever met me and, even if cook had met me before, Mikey is really confused as to where these photos came from, how they ended up on cook's laptop and why cook would use such a photo for his screen saver.
Mikey mentions this to Sara Nan, who explains how the photos got on the laptop, and does recall that cook has met me on several occasions. In fact, cook, Mikey, Sara and myself once went to the movies together in our jammies.
This gets Captain Mikey thinking evil thoughts. He devises a scheme where Sara finds every photo of me that she can, and blows them up to large proportions so that Mikie can make a Dorene shrine complete with candles and newspaper clippings in his room.
Sara was to then devise a reason (left my sweater) for me to go into Mikie's room, discover the shrine, then come out to find Mikey and his laptop sitting on the couch with a creepy look on his face.
Sara decided that this scheme was frickin' hilarious, but way to much work, so she just told me the details instead. Mikey was greatly disappointed.
The things that boys come up with when fishing season is coming to a close, their internet girlfriend dumps them, and it starts raining daily. Mikey mentioned that he and cook are going to go in for twin Russian brides together...some two-for-one special on a website they found. That way they only have to support one set of parents.
Filed in: Life Entertainment Alaska Seward
5 comments:
Neato like your blog. Added it to my bookmarks to check for updates.
I have a Ceiling Fan For Install Kit site/blog. It pretty much covers Ceiling Fan For Install Kit related stuff.
Come and check it out if you get time.
Yes, I was beginning to wonder when someone looked at this picture and suggested a Christian dating service and ceiling fan installation. I thought that they were just being a smart ass.
Hard to believe you are on the City Council... Does the Phoenix Log know about this website?
Yes, as a matter of fact they do.
Oh! Jimmen'y Cricket!!!!
Mr. Anonymous has done some hard investigative reporting!
Bob Woodward lives in Seward.
Dorene?
If they have busted open the "water gate" conspiracy of Seward.
What's going to happen when the find out I forgot to set my trash out Thursday night!!!!!!
And this is not my real hair color!!!!!!
Hot inside scope's E-true Hollywood wants to Know...
We have been exposed!!!!\
We'll have to share space on the front page of the Phoenix log.
Two news breaking story's. The Phoenix log will be sold out....
Mr. Anonymous could start he's own hit blogspot.
We'll call it "the inside poop" Mr. Poo-nymous with the inside poop.
Wait till he finds out where I buried Jimmy Hoffa, and God forbid he finds out I returned my movies 3 days late.
Mr. Poo-nymous will be signing book deals while I'm serving 5 to 10 for unpaid late charges. Isn't that a class A felony?
Oh wait? maybe it's the Hoffa thing that's a felony....
What ever he'll be getting he's 15 minutes on Jerry Springer,
while I'm walking the side of the road picking up trash.
Moving to fast here...
First Mr. Poo-nymous will have to master sentence structure, grammar and punctuation.
The after he learns to read he might be able to digest the US constitution.
You know that incidental little thing about freedom of press.
Heavens to bitty! I think I recall we just had a precedent setting case.
All the networks banned together, hired legal council and prevailed
when they tried to bar them from covering the Katrina disaster
Seems like that might be a lofty goal for Mr. Poo-nymous.
Dear Mr. Poo-nymous.
Mr. Poo-nymous, take some well intended advise from me.
Set your goals LOW, save your self the suicidal ravages failure will have on your sense of self worth.
Don't reach to above your status.
Mercy, Mercy, I think there are no branches on your family tree.
Stick to your illiterate mutterings & the camaraderie of your anonymous club of conspiracy theory hoodlums.
I for one enjoy Dorene's blog.
I realize it may be a little to high brow in it's humor for your understanding.
I find it refreshing & entertaining and again I know you couldn't possibly grasp that.
But I'll say it again.
It is high brow humor intended to be refreshing & entertaining,
and a great many people not just from Seward but literally around the globe, enjoy her blog and participate in it's dialogue with positive and sincere intent.
Whether they agree or disagree, they engage in intelligent dialogue which is the intent of a blog.
The conscious mind-Darwin's theory
What sets man apart? Language.
I think a brain scan might reveal nothing but banjo music in your frontal lobe.
Stupid, illiterate mutterances from some anonymous conspiracy theory freak is not an intelligent exchange of thoughts and beliefs.
Best wish's, hope you find a life of your own.
Signed,
the girl with the boxed hair color
Mrs. Clairol
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