Things about Dorene you Never Knew, and Never Wanted To

I don't wash my face.  I know that sounds odd, but it is true.  Not to say that I walk around with a dirty face.  I stick it under the nozzle in the shower and give it a good blast, and rub make up remover around on a cotton ball until the color stops coming off before I go to bed...but in the American sense, I don't wash my face.

I don't take a hot washcloth and fill it up with soap and scrub my face like the kitchen floor.  I don't draw the sink full of water and stick my head in like I am dunking for apples.  I just don't do these things.  Having the skin on my face feel crispy clean is not a pleasant sensation for me.  

So when my now personal skin whisperer Kelly Whitworth tells me that I have to wash my face TWICE a day, I am just a bit skeptical that I am going to be able to pull this off.  Dorene Translation:  Face Washing = drying cracking skin and water all over the floor.  Now that's something to look forward to.

PCA skin Creamy Cleanser comes in a slick skinny plastic bottle with a smart black cap and smells like the Nikiski soap they sell at Flypaper that comes wrapped in wool.  Just slash some warm water on your face, rub a tiny bit of cleanser between your hands, and rub-a-dub-dub.  Then splash more water around rinsing off the cleanser.

Not a fan of the mess, but afterwards my skin feels...clean.  Not squeaky clean, just clean.  Clean is important, because all the rest of the lotions and potions that Kelly has crammed into my bag get absorbed into the skin, and if there is something between them in and skin we start to have issues.

"The epidermis layer of the skin contains an acid mantle layer which limits the amount of substances entering though the skin that affect the body to a minor degree," says the PCA website.  Yes, it is true, I actually looked this up before I applied something specifically designed to remove my protective acid mantle layer shield.

I don't know much about the science of skin, don't really want to know much about the science of skin.  I bet Kelly can spell epidermis without looking it up on dictionary.com so I am taking her word for it on the stripping off the acids theory.

The bottle tells me that it is filled with a nourishing blend of rose hip seed oil, aloe and amino acids  and that it infuses skin with antioxidant and cell-regenerating benefits for radiant, younger-looking skin.  Key Ingredients: Rose Hip Seed Oil, Yucca Schidigera Extract, Sunflower Seed Oil  and Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice.  Those all sound fairly familiar and not quite so scary.

Lets move down to the fine print.  Ingredients: Water - actually surprised it is the first ingredient because this stuff is thick.  Glycerin - that makes it a soap, cough, cleanser.  Caprylic - no idea, Behenyl Alcohol - a cocktail I don't drink.

Sodium Methyl Cocoyl Taurate - I'm going out on a limb and suggest this might have something to do with coconuts and the ability to suds up but it has been two decades since I was the spokesmodel for Alaska Shampoo and I don't remember much from that lifetime.

Hydroxpropyl Methylcellulose - Sure, right on that one.  Phenoxethanol - clueless.  Hamamelis Vinginiana (Witch Hazel) Water - Witch Hazel, good for dying up zits!  Score one for Dorene for figuring that one out!

Sodium Cocoyl Glutamate - hmm, salt coconut molecules?  Rose Canina Fruit Oil - Rose hips.  Sucrose Sterate- Sugar that can't reproduce?  Yucca Shidigera Leaf/Root/Stem Extract - One of those pointy desert plants.  Hellanthus Annuus (sunflower) Seed Oil - Big yellow flowers with crunchy centers, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice Powder - Why would you powder juice instead of adding less water?  Not getting that.

Xanthan Gum - Not quite like Trident, just guessing.  Lacandula Hybrida Oil - sounds like something used for happy ending massages in a bad porn movie, and Potassium Sorbate - which sounds like a Japanese ice cream flavor to me.

End of the blog, it works and is no more messy than liquid soap and significantly less messy than the hard bar of Dial I used to have to clean up after when I was married, so I'm down with it.