Ripping a New Path

Internet Fortune Cookie say: "Dorene, your celebrity soul mate is someone who's Indie."

"You're probably not one to take the path most traveled. In fact, an independent spirit like you would much rather carve out your own special niche. So it's only natural that your romantic match would be required to do the same.

"Someone who's unique, intelligent, maybe a bit serious and brooding is right for the part. An indie actor like Johnny Depp seems best suited for that role. And it only makes sense that you would rather have your rendezvous at places that are under the radar...just like you!

"So, keep making your own waves in the world. The awards and accolades are sure to follow for you and your celeb soul mate! And even if you don't live in the same reality as your celebrity soul mate, you can still meet someone who's indie close to home. So get moving!"

Okay, I am moving, I am moving. Recently my marine buddy ASKED me to wax his shoulders. I have never had a guy ASK me to wax him before, but hey, I am always up for inflicting a little pain on a voluntary subject.

And he is-a Marine for pete's sakes. And a man.

So he buys this wax at the grocery store that is from Australia. I would never buy such a thing, Aussie's are too well known for their biting sense of humor. I always get my wax supplies from the place the professionals shop - but hey, lets give it a whirl.

Sticky, very very sticky. Like glue. And it doesn't have the soft honeycomb color and smell of the beeswax base I am accustomed to. It is a bright blue-green and funky smelling. But what the hell, he is a Marine.

And a total frickin' whiner. I have never heard such whining, and whimpering, and sissy-boy crying. And that was just putting the wax on.

When I ripped the muslin off I was ready to duck the punch his eyes promised. It never came, but only because I kept reminding him that this was HIS idea.

He suffered (loudly) through the procedure, and determined that putting the wax on was more painful than pulling it off.

Never has been my experience, but I will tell you what - girlfriends getting Brazillians didn't throw the evil eye like this Marine did. I couldn't stop laughing. Most fun I have had in a long time.

We have some wax left over, where is Captain Dan hiding?