Doug is my New PR Director

Click on the title to see it, there I am, right between "Lice Infestations Plague Alaska Wolf Packs" and "Number of Alaska gun dealers in sharp decline." My guest spot on Waking Ambrose, Doug's hiliarious website where I defined "Seward's Folly."

Who would have guessed that it would be so popular that it would make national news? I can tell you the comments to the post were great. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to have as much fun with it as I would have liked. I had a crazy day dealing with finding good homes for Bobby's three gray tom turkeys now that spring is here and he has chicks on the brain.

That was an adventure in itself. I had to catch the turkeys and transport them one at a time, since the dog air kennel was only large enough to hold a turkey. Everytime I would go in to get one, the little white female "Misty" would get out and run around and I would have to chase her back in. Great game for her, 20 minutes for me, three times in one day.

The toms didn't want to go, and they did not come willingly. I had to herd them into a corner and pick them up and carry them to the kennel. Think about it for a second, a large grumpy bird in your arms, you are bending waist high inside the enclosure, you have to step up and through a skinny gate while ducking - look mom no hands.

And it is glare ice, except for the soupy mud. Needless to say, I smelled a bit like turkey ca-ca at the end of the day. But I took them out to Lowell Point and put them in the barn with Penny's hens. Yeah Daddy, the toms like that. Instant sex-fest, they were all over those girls. Absolutely shameless. Spring is in the air.

And is it ever, on the way back to pick up the second bird I had a random naked man sighting. Couple of guys on the beach right by the waterfall...one is completely naked. Maybe he was taking a bath, or swimming. We will never know. At first I wasn't sure I was really seeing what I was seeing, but the car full of giggling women covering their mouths and pointing that passed me was a sure-fire conformation.

Did I mention that it was snowing this morning?

Keri hooks me up with Dr. Phil

Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah-she got a 38. Keri got a 40, Dorene a 47)

This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. The scoring key is at the end, DML answers are *. (I didn't realize so many HR directors read Cosmo-dml)

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon/early evening
c) late at night*

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up*
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whomyou are talking*
e) play with your ear, touch yourchin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you*

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh*
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know*
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated*
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple*
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled*
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant*


POINTS BELOW

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6

2 . (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1

3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7e) 6

4 (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1

5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2

6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2

7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4

8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1

9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1

10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 7

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain self-centered and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quickto make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventure some, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily,but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle! and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Carla Passes on a Fish Story

This was a pretty interesting story from The Sunday Wichita Eagle Newspaper a couple of weeks ago. A resident in the area saw a ball bouncing around kind of strange in a nearby pond and went to investigate.

It turned out to be a flathead catfish who had obviously tried to swallow a child's basketball which became stuck in its mouth!!

The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive, but unable to because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface.

The resident tried numerous times to get the ball out, but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry catfish.

You probably wouldn't have believed this, if you didn't see pictures.

Foxworthy on Alaska

From: Alaskan Funnies (Disclaimer, I don’t know if Jeff Foxworthy really came up with this, it’s something I got in email, and found it quite funny, mainly because so much of it is true)

Jeff Foxworthy on Alaska

* If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Alaska.

* If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy” you might live in Alaska.

* If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Alaska.

* If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Alaska.

* If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Alaska.

* If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Alaska.

* If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Alaska

* If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Alaska.


YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ALASKAN-ITE WHEN:


* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a truck plowing snow on the highway.

* “Vacation” means going to Valdez.

* You measure distance in hours.

* You know several people who have hit a Moose more than once.

* You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.

* Your whole family wears blue jeans to church on Sunday.

* You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

* You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings)

* You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.

* You think of the major food groups as beer and Salmon.

* You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

* There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time.

* You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

* Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

* You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

* You can identify a Southern or Eastern accent.

* Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a moose next to your trash can.

* Down South to you means Seattle.

* You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

* You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.”


Dorene Suggest you are all a bunch of Am-mat-tuers:

You know you live in Alaska if:

You realize you are an "Alaskan" not an "Alaskanite."

Your high school boyfriend is also your second cousin, your roommate's brother's best friend, your current brother-in-law, and the best fishing buddy a girl could ever ask for.

Your resume includes crab fisherman, bank teller, dump truck driver, and wedding coordinator.

You get in arguments with your friends on what is better eating, porcupine or lynx?

You don't even walk up to the window to look if when is a moose in the yard.

Eagles are more plentiful than pigeons.

"That would be MY oil you are talking about."

You use studded snow tires year-round.

Having a walrus penis, whale teeth, or 400lb halibut mount prominately displayed in your living room doesn't raise an eyebrow.

A large collection of Blazo cans decorate your yard around Christmas. Okay, they are there all year but look especially fetching around Christmas.

You know the stats of over a dozen professional dog mushers by heart.

You bet money on when the ice breaks on the Nenana river.

You actually put your kid's dividend check into a college savings account.

You can't name the 50 states, but you can name all 13 Alaska Native regional corporations and every governor/congressman/senator Alaska has had during your lifetime.

You can draw the Alaska State flag with two crayons in less than 15 seconds.

You tell the difference between an Aleut, Eskimo, and Athabaskan just by looking at them..but you may go your entire life without ever seeing a jew, black, or hispanic.

On any given day your city mayor may bus your table or check you out at the grocery store.

You may pan for gold, mush dogs on a glacier, kayak with killer whales by caving ice bergs, windsurf a bore tide, snow board down virgin snow on a peak that makes the Rockies look like foothills, or watch puffins fly underwater on any given weekend and it will not be water cooler talk on Monday.

You are proud to serve your country in the armed forces, and come home to folks who are immensely proud of you for doing so.

You don't get out of bed for an earthquake unless it is over 6 on the scale.

Volcanos, avalanches, power outtages, snowstorms, glare ice, white out conditions, 100-year floods, forest fires - still show up for work on time. If this is the story you tell at the water cooler, you might live in Alaska.

You don't have a water cooler, water from the tap is the best tasting in the country, you might live in Alaska.

You can check your oil, add windshield washer fluid, top off the anti-freeze, add air to the tires, clean a fish...without getting your dress dirty or breaking a nail, you might live in Alaska.

You can tell the difference between a king, silver, or chum just by looking at it...and would never consider eating a pink, you might live in Alaska.

If you consider it a normal everyday occurance to gather your food by cutting through 28 inches of ice, with an eye for the creeping polar bear, hoping that a seal will come up for air, you might live in Alaska.

Help me Jesus, sez Captain Dan

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
Amen.

Mommy Michelle sends a tickle from Utah

FYI Michelle has over half-a-dozen kids, and is wonderfully clever...and single. Let me know if you want her e-mail address. Oh, and she just authored two articles that appear in this months Utah Law Journal on cybercrime.

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

D I (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust."

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) Leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Tag, You are the It

From the lovely George Glarson (click the title for a link)

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
to view the leader in a more positive light. "Hey," - Lincoln on Leadership by Donald T. Phillips

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
my easel

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Sherlock Holmes - love that Jeremy Brett

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
5:00

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
4:58

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the wind blowing in the spruce tree outside my window

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Noon today, went to a multi-agency Mary Lowell Center meeting

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
my telephone bill

9. What are you wearing?
my jammies

10. Did you dream last night?
classified information

11. When did you last laugh?
This afternoon when I shared with my step-father that my sister is marrying my former step-brother, who is also my second cousin; whose aunt is married to my father's older brother and whose mother is living with my uncle on the other side, a couple who are my mother's next-door neighbors. My sister is pregnant with his child. That will make five children between the two of them. They both have gotten divorced from their previous spouse within the last few weeks/months. My sister wins the hill-billy award this year, not an easy task in my family. You follow all that?

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Ralph Lauren paint/glaze in a soft bagged effect

13. Seen anything weird lately?
A photo of Mr. Rogers pleading his liberal neo-enviromentalist case to Lisa Murkowski. That would have been an entertaining conversation. I can just imagine her reaction, "Thank you for your time, I appreciate your thoughts, gee, have a meeting I need to be getting to..."

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It loves cats.

15. What is the last film you saw?
The Libertine, with a bonifide decendant of the Earl of Rochester.

16. If you turned into a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A cool house for my sister and her intended. Lots of bedrooms, big garage, significant yard. Barn.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have ridges on my thumbnails.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Make all the pettiness go away.

19. Do you like to Dance?
Yeah baby, yeah!

20. George Bush.
Good to know he is cheekie enough to grouse Cheney about his aim.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Gidget

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
Moondoggie

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I do already.

24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Well hello there."

25. 4 people who must also do this theme in their journal.
Good luck with that one.
It's gotta stop somewhere.
Tag over.

Seward's Folly Defined for Doug

Find Doug's totally awesome website by clicking on the title to this post.


-----Original Message-----
From: Doug Pascover
To: DoreneMLorenz@aol.com
Sent: Wed, 22 Mar 2006 08:28:09 -0800
Subject: Re: looking for a guest spot

OK, ready for your close-up? Why don't you define Seward's Folly. I'm completely fascinated with your sites, by the way.


From: DoreneMLorenz
To: dpascover@mac.com
Subject: Re: looking for a guest spot
Date: Wed, 22 Mar 2006 14:33:25 -0500

Seward's Folly - not getting a 25% handling fee when brokering a shady real estate transaction.

Just prior to the war, the United States agreed to purchase Alaska from Russia for $1.4 million. Secretary William Henry Seward needed to prevent England from breaking the blockade and declaring her sympathy for the Southern Confederacy. Seward dropped $5.8 million arranging for the Russian fleet to come to New York and San Francisco, a little muscle flexing that worked.

The costs were rolled together, and a check for $7,200,000 was made out to Russia for "the Alaska purchase." Nobody was the wiser. Only difference between Tony Soprano and William H. Seward is that Soprano doesn't forget to make worth his while.

For details see: http://dorenelorenz.blogspot.com/2006/01/revisionist-history.html

Global Wording

The Last Page of the Smithsonian had a wonderful feature this month, A new book, The Meaning of Tingo by Adam Jacot de Boinod. Here is a peek at the delightful nuggets to be gleaned from this new work.

Who knew, for example, that Persian has a word for "a camel that won't give milk until her nostrils have been tickled" (nakhur)? Ot that the Inuits have a verb for "to exchange wives for a few days only" (areodjarekput)? Why does Pascuense, spoken on Easter Island, offer tingo, which means "to borrow things from a friend's house, one by one, until there's nothing left"?

The English language has a long-established and voracious tendency to naturalize foreign words: ad hoc, feng shui, croissant, kindergarten. We've been borrowing them from other cultures for centuries. But there are so many that we have missed.

Our body-conscious culture might have some use for the Hawaiian awawa, for the gap between each finger or toe; the Afrikaans waal, for the area behind the knee, or the Ulwa (Nicaragua) alang, for the fold of skin under the chin. Surely we could use the Tulu (India) karelu, for the mark left on the skin by wearing anything tight. And how could we have passed up the German Kummerspeck, for the excess weight one gains from emotion-related overeating? (It translates literally as "grief bacon.")

Gras bilong fes, from the Papua New Gunea Tok Pisin, is more poetic than "beard"; it means "grass belonging to the face." And how about the German Backpfeifengesicht, or "face that cries out for a fist in it"?

In Wafiman (Australia), there's an infinitive - murrma - for "to walk along in the water searching for something with your feet." The Dutch have uitwaaisen, for "to walk in windy weather for fun," but then Central American Spanish speakers may win a prize for articulating forms of motion with achaplinarse - "to hesitate and then run away in the manner of Charlie Chaplin."

In Russian, they don't speak of crying over spilled milk; they say kusat sebe lokti, which means "to bite one's elbows." That may be better than breaking your heart in Japanese, because harawata o tatsu translates literally as "to serve one's intestines." To be hopelessly in love in Columbian Spanish is to be "swallowed like a postman's sock" (tragado como media de cartero). That happy state may lead to dancing closely, which in Central American Spanish is pulir hebillas ("to polish belt buckles").

Malaysians recognize kontal-kontil, or "the swinging of long earrings or the swishing of a dress as one walks." Fuegian, in Chile, as a word for "that shared look of longing where both parties know the score yet neither one is willing to make the first move" (mamihlapinatapei). But Italian has biodepradabile, for one "who falls in love easily and often."

Persian has mahj, for "looking beautiful after a disease" - which, deftly used, might well flatter (vaseliner in French, for "to apply Vaseline") some recovered patients. But you'd have to lay it on pretty thick for a nedovtipa, who in Czech is "someone who finds it difficult to take a hint."

On Easter Island, it may take two to tingo, but it takes only one to hakamaru, which means "to keep borrowed objects until the owner has to ask for them back." Of course, words once borrowed are seldom returned. But nobody is going to harawata o tatsu over that.

Answering Capt. Dan's Question

Patton Boggs Team

Douglas J. Serdahely
Partner

Antitrust
Litigation and Dispute Resolution
Mergers and Acquisitions

Douglas Serdahely, managing partner of Patton Boggs’ Anchorage office, concentrates his practice in complex civil litigation involving environmental and antitrust issues.

Mr. Serdahely represents, among others, ExxonMobil Corporation in the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill litigation in Alaska. He has also advised ExxonMobil Production Company, Sea River Maritime Inc., Safeway Inc., Tesoro Alaska Company, Marathon Oil Company, Travelers Insurance Company, Matanuska Electric Association, Anchorage Police and Firemen, and various energy, transportation and fuel distribution companies in Alaska. Mr. Serdahely has also served as the liaison counsel to more than 40 defendants in a $1 billion class action brought by 4,000 Alaska fishers. Mr. Serdahely also maintains an active antitrust practice, including representation of various companies in major mergers and acquisitions in Alaska. In addition, he has served as a settlement mediator in over 1,000 state and federal civil actions, as well as an arbitrator and special master in civil actions.

Before joining the firm, Mr. Serdahely was a litigation partner at Anchorage office of Bogle & Gates. Additionally, Mr. Serdahely served as an Alaska Superior Court Judge from 1981 to 1989, and during his tenure on the Alaska bench, Mr. Serdahely also served as presiding judge of the Third Judicial District, and as a pro tem panelist on the Alaska Court of Appeals and Alaska Supreme Court.

Professional Affiliations:
Member, Patton Boggs Management Committee
Alaska Bar Association
District of Columbia Bar Association

Education
Harvard Law School, J.D., 1972
Northwestern University, B.A., highest distinction, Phi Beta Kappa, 1968

Clerkships
Chief Justice J. Rabinowitz, Alaska Supreme Court, 1972 - 1973
Chief Justice G. Boney, Alaska Supreme Court, 1972 - 1973

Court Admissions
U.S. Supreme Court
U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit




Teresa S. Ridle
Associate

Business
Litigation and Dispute Resolution
Native American Affairs

Teresa Ridle advises clients on a broad range of issues, including business formations and commercial transactions. She also helps businesses and individuals navigate complex civil litigation matters.

Previously, Ms. Ridle served as a law clerk to the Honorable Larry D. Card, Alaska Superior Court, and to the Honorable Richard D. Savell, Alaska Superior Court.

Professional Affiliations:
Alaska Bar Association

Education
Gonzaga University School of Law, J.D., 1994
University of Alaska - Anchorage, B.A., 1989

Bar Admissions
Alaska

Court Admissions
U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit
Alaska District Court

Awards and Honors
American Jurisprudence Award, Family Property Settlements

Wacked Search Engine Referrals

Yes, sports fans, it is that time again. The spring review of the most crazy search engine referrals that got folks to this page. Some of these really crack me up. "In three generations there will be no democrats," "display her breasts," "kvichak marine, contract, fast ferry," and "movies with feministic themes" all found there way here. As did "aniak halfbreeds," "bore tide+top 10," and "Moulin Rouge editing." The best I am saving for last, didn't make these two up, "Women learn how to take bra off in the bathroom" and "does weathered mean shingles that fell off roof."

"little+whores" actually is amazingly popular, same with "Petersburg Elementary School+Peratrovich" and "jimmy durante's doctor." I can understand "what part of road rage is aggravation," but what on earth is "kaaxgal.aat?" And for those with just a touch of paranoria, "aaron leggett," "cindy dyson," "frances mayes," "big foot," "clark corbridge" and "sara nan" - someone is googling you.

Dona offers History you can use

In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.

In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man." Today in business, we use the expression or title "Chairman" or "Chairman of the Board.

Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's wax." Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile." In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . therefore, the expression "losing face."

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman . as in "straight laced". . . wore a tightly tied lace.

Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead.

Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck."


Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip."


At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts," hence the term "minding your "P's and Q's."

One more: bet you didn't know this!

In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations.

However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys." Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey." (All this time, you thought that was an improper _expression, didn't you.)

"If you can read this, thank a teacher"


"If you are reading it in English thank a soldier."

Husband vs. Wife

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Wee Bit o' Irish Glee

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY -

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy, "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

-----

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

-----

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".

"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

-----

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says. "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun."

----- AND THE BEST FOR LAST

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knocking, there's no paper on this side either."

Deep Market Advanced Stock Market Analysis

My new renter is a bit more into the stocks and bonds than I am, but that doens't mean then can't be entertaining. Take this post that I lifted from the site - brings up great opportunities for entertainment. For example, I wonder who this Chris Pirillo is and how he has so much time on his hands? Doesn't he have a day job? And is Joe Anderson in the same frat house?

Discover more by clicking on the title of this post or on the thumbnail to the left.

Chris Pirillo Effect - The Joe Anderson Effect
March 9th, 2006
This is an old story, but there is the semi-urban legend that if you mention Chris Pirillo in a blog posting, he will come and post a comment on your blog. This was known as the Chris Pirillo Effect, but the effectiveness of the CPE seems to have degraded over the last year. What the heck - it is worth a try.

However, Joe Anderson seems to want to replace Chris with his own Joe Anderson Effect. Joe writes the Webby’s World blog which is “about technology. It is generally focused on cool websites, hacks, piracy (and ethics) and open-source. Also, there’s quite a bit about the Mozilla programs and Mozilla spirit.”

EDIT

Well, someone claiming to be Chris Pirillo stopped by and posted a comment. Since I am feeling like “the cup is half full and not half empty” today, I am going to assume it was Chris - Thanks Chris! Sorry for doubting the power of the CPE…

Golly, how I miss TechTV!

Dorene Beauty Secret

Internet fortune cookie say: Dorene, your beauty secret is Keeping a Positive Attitude

Do people tend to call you for pick-me-ups? Ask you for advice on everything from careers to relationships?

You can bet that people rely on and trust your opinions because you can see the bright side in any situation. For you, life is all about trying to enjoy your work, play, family, and friends — and keeping a positive attitude helps you do that.

Sure, you may hit a bump in the road now and then — everyone does. But you don't invest a lot of time and energy on things that you can't control.

And you make a concerted effort to learn from life's ups and downs. Now that's what health is all about. So keep it up!

Woman's Perfect Breakfast

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl, and her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Michigan Marriage Seminar

While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right there.

Steady Eddie

Internet fortune cookie say:

Dorene, the thing you need most in a relationship is Steady Comfort

Sure all relationships have some difficulties, but yours would be especially immune to major upheavals — even if you might experience some low level conflicts every once in a while.

After all, there is a limit to the lengths you will go to work out tenuous relationship issues. In your ideal relationship, you would find you are happiest when things are balanced.

You want to have a strong bond with your partner, but you also place a high value on your individual life and don't want to give that all up just to be with them.

March Madness

Read Ayn Rand while you are pregnant, birth a capitalist. Casmir looked forward to today's Lion's Club pancake feed with a great deal of anticipation. She has figured out that while many people donate raffle items, few people buy raffle tickets. Since she has been born there have been a number of individuals who have won multiple prizes in the drawing and this has not escaped her attention or consideration.

She badgered everyone she came in contact with to see if there was some chore she could do to make money. She opted not to shop Fourth Avenue with Savannah, who was down for the weekend. Instead they schemed up every money making ploy you could think of, including enlisting her younger cousins to sell hugs and kisses. What was Lisa thinking when she asked Casmir to babysit?

Both Casmir and Savannah managed to make $10, which gave them 10 raffle tickets each. I purchased nine raffle tickets on my own. They worked the event with great joy and energy, as did the high school kids who were making money to go to Europe later this year.

End result, Casmir won a beautiful handpainted silk scarf from Softly Silk, which will no doubt find its way to my mother since her birthday is coming up soon (valued at $52). Savannah won 4 adult passes to the Alaska Sealife Center ($60), a Healy Hanson fleece (for her mother), and a Stormy Seas jacket (for her grandfather.) She also got to go swimming and to the Sealife Center. I am confident she is going to want to visit again really soon and her folks are going to let her.

What did I win? Yes, of course I won. A chore-less-ter-all test at the local clinic. Bought as useful to me as a lifetime supply of SlimFast. Oh well, I see a re-gifting in my future.

I seem to be Missing $100 billion sez Ray

"Finally," declares Disco Ray with a smile, "the Legislature asks someone besides an oil company what's a fair oil tax."

Ray writes that for 25 years, the legislature depended on oil company lobbyists to pay for their campaigns and tell them how much oil should be taxed.

Finally, one of the worlds top oil consultants looks our legislators in the eye and tells them what most of them clearly didn't expect to here. That is that the rest of the major oil producing countries around the world keep a lot more from the profits derived from a barrel of oil than we Alaskans do.

See Chart on page 47 of his report to the legislature. Oil producing countries on average have kept 67% of the profits from a $20 barrel of oil, escalating to 92% of a $60 barrel of oil. For the record, we keep less than 33%. Were so fare out of the ballpark, we aren't even on the chart.

That easily translates into $100 Billion schools, roads, docks, harbors, airports, and dividend checks that we Alaskan's didn't get over the past 25 years because we sat quite and allowed VECO and BP to buy the loyalties of our legislature.

Your future well-being depends on your willingness to take the time to grasp the content of the attached report to Alaska's legislature. Iinally, the Legislature asks someone besides an oil company what's a fair oil tax.

For 25 years, the legislature depended on oil company lobbyists to pay for their campaigns and tell them how much oil should be taxed.

Finally, one of the worlds top oil consultants looks our legislators in the eye and tells them what most of them clearly didn't expect to here. That is that the rest of the major oil producing countries around the world keep a lot more from the profits derived from a barrel of oil than we Alaskans do.

See Chart on page 47 of the attached report to the legislature. Oil producing countries on average have kept 67% of the profits from a $20 barrel of oil, escalating to 92% of a $60 barrel of oil.
For the record, we keep less than 33%. Were so fare out of the ballpark, we aren't even on the chart.

That easily translates into $100 Billion schools, roads, docks, harbors, airports, and dividend checks that we Alaskan's didn't get over the past 25 years because we sat quite and allowed VECO and BP to buy the loyalties of our legislature.

Your future well-being depends on your willingness to take the time to grasp the content of the attached report to Alaska's legislature. If you have questions about acronyms, definitions or interpretations, please call me at 907-344-4514.

For a copy of the report e-mail RayinAK@aol.com.

Ray Metcalfe

Jesse Lee gets Non-Profit Status

The Friends of the Jesse Lee Home have agreed to set up as a non-profit under the Alaska Community Foundation. This is a wonderful opportunity for any organization that is wanting to collect tax-deductible funds for a charity, and have the fund administered in a professional manner.

For 1 1/2% of the fund's balance the Alaska Community Foundation collects revenue, sends out thank you letters that also serve as proof of donation at tax time, grow the money through conservative investments, and write the checks to the appropriate recipients.

These folks are wonderful, the completely hold your hand and walk you through the process. The mission of the foundation is to encourage and nurture philanthropy through the establishment of a permanent endowment that will address current and emerging needs in Alaska communities in perpetuity.

Perpetuity, I love that concept in connection for the Jesse Lee Home. It means rebuilding Goode Hall, reclaiming lost acreage, beautiful landscaping, reclaiming the caretaker's and superintendent's houses. For the Leadership School it means scholarships to Alaskan children, bringing in outside talent, special functions, programs. It means 100 years from now the tired roots we have nurtured back to life will be a healthy, thriving plant with offshoots everywhere.

The Alaska Community Foundation has been around for 10 years, and has $10 million in its fund. It is a resource for anyone desiring to establish a lasting legacy to address their concerns for Alaska today and their wishes for Alaska tomorrow. Visit their website by clicking on the title...or going to alaskacf.org. They offer a variety of giving tools, you can make a gift of cash (they even take credit cards), stocks, bonds, real estate or other assets. You can set up a fund in your name or in the name of your family, business or organization.

You can create field of interest funds. Donors who care about literacy or a social justice or the arts or a new library or new museum (now there is a hint if I ever saw one) can be set up. Many donors create and name scholarships to remember loved ones.

Boards of charitable organizations can establish organizational endowments managed by the Alaska Community Foundation, to support their on-going operations. The Anchorage Park Foundation, Anchorage Trail Care Fund, Alaska Veterans Memorial Endowment, Walter and Ermalee Hickel Alaska Fund, McNeil River Chum Salmon Study, Sheldon Jackson College Fund, Winter Olympic Endowment, Kincaid Park Project, Alaska Zoo Foundation, Anchorage Concert Chorus Endowment, Alaska Society for Circumpolar Health, Food Bank of Alaska, and Wish Upon the Northstar are good examples of the breath of entities that have registered under the Alaska Community Foundation.

If you have an organization that is struggling to manage dedicated funds for a charitable cause, and want some accountability and respectability as well, this is the place for you.

As Winston Churchill said, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Learning English the Walker Way!

A Church of England missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The minister is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity.

The missionary is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them with two deadly poison darts.

The missionary goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

Loving a little romance

Dorene, you're a Romantic Kisser

Whew, is it warm in here or is that just you? When it comes to kissing, you get your drive from the lure of romance. For you, it's more than a meeting of the lips.

You appreciate kissing for the rush and for what it symbolizes. Long-stemmed roses, candlelight dinners, and weekend retreats to bed and breakfasts. Sound about your speed?

You're a kissing partner who can go beyond the sweet surrender of locking lips to discuss the meaning of relationships. To really express yourself, you're probably one who's concerned with setting the proper mood.

You might light a fire or take your date to a beautiful lookout before cuddling and kissing. You probably like to make a lot of eye contact, gently hug and touch your date, and talk tenderly about your feelings.

While your intensions are pure, your intensity might sometimes be a little overwhelming. Don't forget that being playful can also be a sign of affection, and remember, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.

Looking for some Twins

Dorene, the best Zodiac Match for your personality is Gemini

Gemini, the Twins (May 22 to June 21): This adaptable and lively partner is just your type. Initially, a Gemini may catch your eye with an intellectual remark or their flirtatious banter.

But as you get to know them, you're more likely to be drawn to your Gemini's creativity and ability to find the fun in any situation. People born under this sign are typically outgoing types who love to spend time with a variety of people.

In fact, a Gemini's social butterfly tendencies can make them seem flighty or even a bit erratic at times. However, Geminis are also top-notch thinkers with original ideas.

In the bedroom, you'll find the Twins to be equally creative. As a result, they can be very engaging lovers. Overall, Geminis are innovators with an uncanny ability to stay balanced in chaotic situations.

This was the most striking photo of twins that I could find, just not picking up any lesbian tendencies on my part. My loss I am sure.

Listen to that Bible Talk

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetches the Bible, opened the New Testament and which indeed says...Hebrews.

Pam isn't Afraid to Tell us How She Feels

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet? Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia.

I'll care when Abu Musab al-Zarqawi tells the world he is sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling, slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college hazing incident, rest assured that I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts that I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and -- you guessed it.....!!!

Stumbling Thru Life with Grace

Lets be straight about this. Third times a charm is a totally hottie, spunkie, and just the kind of girl we love to hang with when club hopping. No surprise at all that Rachael let her into the Bitch Club.

According to her personality test, and we all know the results of such a scientific test are significantly accurate - just like those Cosmo quizes....she is open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash.

Like I said, just the kind of girl we love to hang with when we go club hopping. She likes to read more than she likes to write, we can forgive her for that because when she does write she catches us up on all her entertaining reading. Stop by and visit by clicking on her webside thumbnail on the right, or click on the title of this blog for a direct link.

Dinner with Dorene

Appetizer: How many pillows and blankets do you sleep with?
Ten pillows. Two large reading pillows, two kings, three standards, three toss. I nest in my bed.
Blankets. Two big fluffy comforters, paisleys from Ralph Lauren's Home collection. And a big fuzzy velvet-backed throw.

Soup: What are you currently “addicted” to?
My telephone. I ran it out of juice on marathon calls several times this weekend. Seems all my friends want to catch up at once!

Salad: If you could make a small change to your current routine or schedule that would make you just a little bit happier, what would it be?
Daily horseback riding, that is easy.

Main Course: Which adjective(s) do you find yourself using often?
Totally wacked. Lovely. Brilliant. Amazing.

Dessert: Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?
I pick up hitchhikers infrequently, usually folks I am familar with who start walking to town on a pleasant day and then the weather turns on them. Folks whose car break down and they are stranded. Not really big on the backpack tourists with dogs who hold up signs on the side of the road, or guys who actually stick out their thumbs and walk backwards.

Only a Matter of Time - Cheney Hunting Gear

Great Gift Idea for Dorene, hint hint hint

Click the title to go to the auction link. Up for sale wednesday, March 8th is a legal polar bear rug in excellent condition mounted by Jonah Brothers in the late 1960s. 8'11" left back claw to right front claw, 7'4" nose to tail. This is hot. Oh yeah, Daddy. I know, I know, it is a cultural thing but I am an Alaskan girl and I just can't help it.

Fading Heritage we All Share

It is a humbling moment, when elders point out the intrinsic value in that which you have never considered. Dr. James Simpson did that for me last week. He had flown up from Oregon to attend a meeting of the Friends of Jesse Lee Home. Long flight for a two-hour meeting, even if it is to organize an effort to restore Alaska's most endangered historic building.

Dr. Simpson is a former resident of the Jesse Lee Home in Seward, and a man of well-chosen words. He started reading a list of dates that benchmarked events relevant to the Jesse Lee Home. Two of them I circled on my notepad, April 15th- selection of the state flag design; 2007- 80th anniversary of the Alaska state flag.

Being Seward born, growing up with Benny Benson flying paper airplanes with the neighbor kids, our history as the birthplace of the Alaska state flag is something I have always taken for granted. I loved the Jesse Lee Home because she is the most hauntingly beautiful building I have ever seen, but was oblivious to her true beauty.

Dr. Simpson changed that for me. Driving to the bank this morning I saw the Jesse Lee Home grandly sitting on the hillside, her stucco walls and big timber beams an elegant frame for a rich legacy. Simpson’s stories began to repeat in my head. The story of a woman in Unalaska who offered to take in a few children who were orphaned by an epidemic in the Aleutian Islands. How that number grew significantly, and quickly, as entire villages were wiped out.

How in the mid-twenties Seward donated 80 acres to the Jesse Lee Home, declared a holiday, and every man in town went up to clear the land for the building. How one woman raised $50,000 back when it was an immense amount of money, to build a dormitory for the girls. How the children raised money for a statue of Balto pennies and nickels at a time, and their names were placed inside the base of the statue. The base is still there, I wonder if the names are.

Standing in the window of the Jesse Lee Home, looking at the moon rising above the reflecting mountains, Resurrection Bay flat and calm as a lake, it is easy to be centered. Easy to imagine a young native boy looking out the same window, finding the North Star as his guide, and determining that as an appropriate symbol to guide a territory into statehood.

Easy to imagine Fanny, sitting in her flowered kuspuk, quietly, resolutely, thoughtfully piecing eight golden stars as she sewed our first flag. Easy to feel the pride and excitement of children brought here from every corner of the state, missing their birth families while embracing their Jesse Lee family, children who stood on these wooden floors as they watched a bold field of blue meet the sky for the first time.

It is a legacy that is shared by all Alaskans, this moment, this symbol, this inspiration, this place. The Jesse Lee Home must be restored before it is lost forever from neglect. It falls upon us now to realize that saving our past secures Alaska's future.

Published Seward Phoenix Log
Thursday, March 9, 2006

Christine has a Plan

Okay, here's the plan:

Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

In three generations, there will be no Democrats!!!

Damn, I love it when a plan comes together

Midnight Blue Noon Update

The final manuscript is back from the editor, and I have until March 15th to scan for typos and sign off on it. Then we are off to the cover department. Looks like the first editions should be coming off the press around mid-April.

The Children's Home - Jesse Lee Home

Written by Mrs Myrtle Canterbury Hatten, the wife of the Rev. Charles T. Hatten, the superintendent of the Jesse Lee Home. She wrote about the original building that was used in Unalaska, Alaska from 1892 - 1925, but the sentiments ring true for the Seward location as well.

Dear old home facing the sea,
Weathered and gray and nothing to see;

Sagging at roof, the shingles gone,
Gaunt and unlovely, standing alone;
Windows broken, the floors worn through
Where the children played as children do;
Unfit to live in, ugly and old,
Rotten of sill and turning to mold;
You shake in the wind, let in the rain--
I close my eyes and see you again.

Bravely you stand there facing the sea,
Silent you are, yet speaking to me;
Each worn old spot on the splintered floors,
Each scratch and mar on the paintless doors,
each rusty hinge, broken window pane,
The holes in the roof that let in the rain;
Of everything that my mist eyes see
Are symbols, ever speaking to me
Of the home and haven you used to be,
To motherless boys and girls like me.

Wash day, scrub day, picnic day, any day-
My share of work, my share of play;
Then a bright warm fire, supper and bed,
A good night's blessing, a hand on my head,
A clean warm bed, sleep, sweet and sound,

Then a bright new day-Thus the years went round.
Struggling with work, romping in play,
Hard lessons to learn, kneeling to pray,
Dear house, now deserted, facing the sea,
You were a wonderful home to me.

Four

Picked this up from Universal Soldier (click on title to find this Brit)

Four Jobs I've Had:

1. Dishwasher.
2. Cutting heads off salmon.
3. Longshoreman.
4. Runway model.

Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over:

1. A Walk in the Clouds.
2. Shindler's List.
3. Godfather Trilagy.
4. Le Reine Margot.

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:

1. Battlestar Galactica.
2. Above and Beyond.
3. Sex and the City.
4. Sherlock Holmes (Jeremy Britt).

Four Places I've Been On Holiday:

1. South Beach Miami, Florida.
2. Maui, Hawaii.
3. Victoria, BC.
4. Park City, Utah.

Four Favourite Dishes:

1. Smoked salmon and cucumbers, Dianes, Anchorage.
2. Moo Shu Chicken, Lotus Garden, Tucson.
3. Lobster Thermador, Rainbow Room, NYC.
4. Filet Migon, Morton, Washington DC.

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

1. ADN.com, Anchorage Daily News.
2. AOL.com, America Online.
3. Blogspot.com, update my blog.
4. Ebay.com, got to get my fix.

Four Places I'd Rather Be:

1. Conneticut, riding with Heidi and her girls.
2. Paris, shopping with Deb and Keri.
3. New Orleans, re-decorating what is left of Dani and Constantine's space
4. New Zealand, decorating a film set.